Eff My Cube

That's right, Eff my Cube! I guess that I work at a desk, and not so much in a cube. So in that case, Eff my desk! Either way, you get the point. I am really starting to hate my lab.

I don't have the right to complain because it really is my fault. I work too hard. I pushed and pushed. I would get to lab in the morning and stay until late into the evening. I would say to myself, "I am just going to finish this little thing up, then I'll leave." A few hours and a few task later, I find my self saying the same thing. When I came home, I would just go to my room and do more work. I started off the summer with the idea that I could finish one paper and put a major dent in the research needed for another. But you know what, research takes time.

I did a terrible job of setting reasonable goals. To write a research paper, and then start (and finish) another paper, in just a summer is a bit much. I realized this early on, but thought to myself that if I just work harder, the benefit of having two paper under my belt going into grad school would outweigh the cost. And so I did. Each day I worked a little longer, and I did get more done. It was tough, but I was happy with the progress that I was making. However, I the days went by, I started to feel a little lonely.

Like I said before, it really is my fault. Before I know it, I had locked my self away in the lab and away from others. Aside from GTalk, I didn't interact with anyone. Under normal conditions this is fine (actually kind of normal), but I also realized that this summer is the last time that I will see most of my friends. What have I been doing? I am working my self to death, not hanging out with friend I my not see again, and I feel like crap for both. It is sad that it took me so long to see it.

I am sorry.

I don't know how I thought the benefit of having two paper done would outweigh the cost, when the cost is not seeing my friends during my last summer in Boulder. I can't believe that I am just figuring this out now. I know it's a little late, but I am still going to trying. I plan to taking the next few weeks easy and trying to see all of you.